The Final Curtain

Not me, but Slainte'. At least how we know it. Last night was the last night for a great room. It's going to be under new ownership and Timmy B will no longer host the room. There's a possibility that they may keep hosting it once a month, and my name has come up a couple of times as someone that could host it. I'm not sure, all I know is, last night was a good night.

People were in the mood to laugh. Nobody had a bad set, and it was easy to tell new jokes. Towards the beginning, there were just us comics and later on, more people filed in. I didn't take the bullet last night, I decided to wait. My set was mostly new stuff. Some worked, some could've done better, but it was a good set all around. I did probably about 10 minutes in all. I threw in some old stuff, even my wine tasting turned rape joke, which I love, and was told by my fiance that it should never see the light of day. Well it's worked every time now, so I guess we know which of us is the comedian.

There were a good number of people doing physical humor last night, and Timmy himself had a great bit about imaginary pets. My stuff wasn't physical, but I'm still perplexed about a joke I find funny that isn't shaping up. Perhaps because it makes fun of Christopher Reeve and it's rather scathing. People sure are touchy about him it seems. My intro portions of a couple of my jokes did very well, so I think if I reworked them and came back at a different angle, I should be able to get something juicy out of them.

A couple of the regulars weren't there, and I'm sure they'll be sad when they find out it's done and the last night went well. Slainte' has been very kind to host us and provide free drinks all year long. It's the room where Joe Ricchio was king and we all hung on his every word until he mimed fucking Jesus in the ass. It's the room where comedy campfire would happen to keep the jokes popping from comic to comic. It's the room where many of us found our voice and always had time for us to do a set, no matter the situation. It's the room that was brutally honest about jokes that had a shot and ones that needed sod tossed over the top of them. And it's the room that any comic who went and had a good set could leave saying, "What a great room. I'll definitely come back." I'm going to miss the room, because the patrons generally were the type of audience that appreciated my sense of humor. It was the open mic room where I've always felt most comfortable.

Thank you Slainte', and than you TimmyB!

Blame Canada!

As mentioned before. I’ve decided to do a post about my trip to Toronto if anything funny should happen, and believe you me it was a blast. Myself, Mike, and Bandit (Paul) hit the highway for 12 hours each way for fun and frivolity.

My very first practical joke didn’t work out as planned, but was funny all the same. We were leaving my house in South Portland at 3:00 in the morning. I decided that as a prank, for breakfast I’d eat a whole can on baked beans, and munch on sugar free vitamin C drops for the 12 hour ride. Both of which make me especially gassy. I also sprayed myself with half a can of Old Spice body spray to try my best to be the most fragrant traveler ever. Fast forward to 3 hours later in Springfield MA where I am in the grimiest bathroom of a Dunkin Donuts ever, exploding over the toilet. Then fast forward 3 and a half minutes forward to the same bathroom where I explode again, and start to regret the beans and cough drops. I might have regretted it the first time, but figured one blow out might be okay, but now I’ve settled into a pattern with well more than 9 hours left to travel. Apparently it would become obvious to me later that I actually had a cold that would help in the distribution of fluid business for the next few days anyhow.

Fast forward to Buffalo New York, who needs to buy a muffler? Everywhere there were muffler shops. I was looking forward to stopping in Buffalo to have some wings from the town that made them famous. We got a little turned around, and ended up eating at some place called Ying’s Wings and Things, which I’m fairly certain was a tax shelter for the mob, as our waitress knew nothing about the food they served. Whenever I go to a new place, I like to try their local beer. I asked what their darkest local beer was, and the waitress’ reply was “Guinness?” I had ginger ale instead. The wings were good, I didn’t have to poop, but Mike took a picture of Bandit over the stall just prior to him flushing an epic turd. We all had a good laugh at that, and me sucking the juice of the wings off my fingers. Buffalo seemed like an armpit of a town.


Once we were in Niagra Falls, Mike and I played a different version of air hockey. I grew up with an air hockey table and it’s one of my hidden talents. Nobody ever beats me. This was a new style though. It was called Boomerang and it was “V” shaped and you played right next to your opponent. I think I ended up winning 7-3. Mike took a picture of the back of his Bandit’s neck while he wasn’t looking, and it looked like a pack of sausages. The falls were pretty impressive, but we had a destination, so I took another poop and we were off.


Toronto itself feels like a young city. The layout is a lot like Downtown Chicago, with all of the glitz of Times Square. Bordering neighborhoods where the kitschy shops are feel like the “U” District of Seattle. It’s neat, but they sure love Tim Horton’s. How many donuts do people really need? There’s a lot of homeless people in the city, and we saw a rather disturbing sight Saturday night. A Chinese man was “cracked-out” in the middle of Yongue Street. That’s a major downtown street in Toronto. He was sitting Indian style in the middle of the sidewalk with his nose running, tears flowing, foaming up all over himself in the middle of the rain. It hit me in the gut pretty hard. It wasn’t a pretty sight.

We also had breakfast at a place called Over Easy I believe. Ramrod must’ve been feeling silly because he got a chocolate waffle the size of his head. I thought it was funny, because it really looked exactly like something out of a scat video or something and he was wolfing it down.

The Red Sox game was cool; it was a good game even though they lost again. Getty Lee was in the stadium right behind home plate, and the crowd went bananas when they showed him on the big screen. The pitcher was Hansack, who was the same guy I had seen pitch in Portland the week before. Ironic I had to travel so far to see him play again. There were tons of Red Sox fans at the game, and lots of sign from places like Fall River MA.

There’s a lot of hockey stuff in Toronto, and it felt weird to be there. Sports that are important to us mean nothing to them and vice versa. I know nothing about hockey, and they seem to care nothing about baseball. I do care about Coffee Crisps however, which is one of their candy bars we can’t get here. We must’ve eaten enough to feed a small village in those things alone.

On our trip home, we were stopped at the border and pulled from the car. We had to wait in the office with a lot of men name Muhammad etc etc. It was pretty nerve wracking, as I couldn’t think of anything that we might have done that would’ve gotten us handpicked out of those thousands of vehicles to get searched. It made me regret thinking that if we got stopped, I was going to tell an officer that Bandit had balloons of heroin in his butt, but seriously, these cops weren’t “fucking around” as they say. It was all business. Fast forward about 10 hours later, I was back home safe and sound at home with my fiancé, and I took a big poop and went to bed.
Looking forward to next year when we go on another trip. It’s always a blast hanging with the boys.

Sierra Mist!

Last night at Sierra's was fun. It was the first time I had worked that room, and I had a pretty great set. Some new stuff and old stuff happened last night, I went without a set list. The only problem was, not too many people were there to see it.

Aside from the comics that were there, at any given point there would've been about 5 people in there max. Too bad for that, the room is set up really nice, I'll definitely go back again next month if I can. The comics that were there, were all supportive and had fun. It seemed like egos were checked at the door. That's always nice. After a few minues, nobody seemed to care that there wasn't an audience.

I was impressed with our host Dennis Fogg. I had worked with him before, but he was hosting last night. He had so much material, it was silly. Aside from Dennis, there was a new guy named Nick Salovos (?) sorry I'm bad with names, myself, Seth Bond Perry, Chuck Sanborn, and Tammy Pooler. I feel like I'm forgetting someone, but it was all good. It was a nice mix of Comedy Connection, Acoustic Coffee people and Liquid Blue folks in a neutral room. There was a different air to it for sure.

For some reason my Supercuts bit worked really well for me last night. Tammy Pooler said it was one of the funniest things she'd heard in a long time. I think it's a funny bit, but I don't generally think of it as that strong, but for some reason last night was it's night to shine.

When my set was done, I decided I wanted something sweet to drink, and I asked for a Sprite. Normally when you ask for a Sprite and they don't have it, they say "7 Up okay?". Not last night, the bartender Matt said "Sierra Mist okay?". I said sure as the taste of irony crossed my lips. Just a little cocky that a place called Sierra's doesn't serve Sprite or 7Up, only Sierra Mist.

Nothing scheduled for shows until October 12th, but I'll probably work Slainte next week Thursday the 28th. But, as the post begins with a picture of the road, I'll be hitting it with my friends Mike and Bandit to Toronto this Friday morning. It's going to be fun, and as I mentioned before, I may make a post about it, because I'm pretty certain something funny will happen.
OH NO I DIDN"T!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I Feel Poorly

I have to be honest, I dread writing this post. My set last night was bad. I got a few laughs, not a bomb, but it might as well have been. From the word jump, I knew it wasn't going to go well.

My energy was really low when I got onstage, and I felt distant. It might have had something to do with the host, referring to the comics last night as a meal and I was introduced as the salad. He did a fine job of making the crowd laugh, but from what I could see, he was cutting the showcase comics, myself included, off at the knees. Phrases like, "There's the emergency exit right there in case the next comic really sucks..." etc etc. I know that's an excuse, and I'm not blaming him directly, I'm just painting the picture.

My jokes weren't hitting the crowd very well. A couple of them went over okay, but I literally had a couple that got no response at all. It was grim. I tried to mix up styles while onstage and deviated from my set list. Jokes that had killed before were getting a limp chuckle. They weren't into me, and I wasn't into them. It was just a hair better than the OOB show I did a couple of months back.

When my set was over, I thanked the crowd, and the host was nowhere to be seen. I was hung up there to dry. What a horrible feeling. He should've been in or near the room to take the stage back, but instead he was off jerking around not paying attention. He's done it before when I worked with him, but at least I plowed through the set and had a good set last time, so the moment wasn't quite as awkward. Last night it sucked.

Comedy is finnicky. There's nothing quite like the feeling of being on stage and people are feeling you. It's one of the greatest feelings in the world. There's a strange connection and magic to it. When it goes south, like last night, it's just as instense of a feeling except, it feels that bad. It's tough to go through. Anybody that knows me closely, knows I have poor self esteem, and have been through bouts of depression. It makes the tough nights especially tough. It doesn't matter how many great nights I have, a bad one will stay with me and mean more than 1000 great nights.

When I took my dog for a walk this morning at 5:00, the thought that kept popping into my head was "I haven't learned anything from last night's set". That's something I've always found is that I learn something from every show. I'm full of self doubt and I'm real angry about how my set went down last night. I'm mostly angry at myself for not doing a good job. I wonder if all the stress and work to write new jokes is worth a night like last night. Tune in next time and see.

My next show is on Tuesday of next week at Sierra's in Gorham at 8:00. Other than that, I have October 12th, the 29th, and the previously mentioned Boston Comedy Connection on November 6th.

A Quick Update

I just thought I'd throw this post out there, so people didn't think I "fell off". I haven't done any shows for almost 2 weeks. I was thinking of doing Acoustic Coffee last week, but decided to let it go. I've basically been enjoying the very end of summer. No fooling, I kept pretty busy all summer and forgot to smell the roses.

So for the past couple weeks, I've been going to the movies, catching plenty of Sea Dogs and Red Sox games, and as you can see above, I met Bruce Campbell. He seems really cool. It's been a fun couple of weeks, and I'm kind of glad I stepped away from stand-up to refresh.

I have a "booze cruise" Monday with the comics and employees of the Portland Comedy Connection. After that, I finally have a show on Thursday at the Connection as well. I may try and swing out to Slainte after, but probably not. Aside from that, I don't have anything else scheduled, but the 19th of next week, I plan on finally attending Sierra in Gorham to give it a shot. I keep forgetting to give it a try, and now I have plenty of time.

I've been writing and reading books on stand-up for a couple of weeks too, I'm hoping it'll help me with structure, but it makes the writing process that much easier.

I have a long weekend trip coming up in 2 weeks to Toronto with my pals mike and his Brother we call Bandit. I may even put a post in here about that, but where this is a comedy blog that would seem weird. If something "stand-uppish" happens, I'll let you know.

And in closing, let's all keep our calendars clear for Monday November 7th. Comedy Connection Boston here I come! Be there or be a geometrical shape with equal 90 degree angles at all four corners with matching length and widths.

A Tree Seems To Have Fallen In Portland...

... and nobody seems to have heard it.

The crowds have been getting smaller and smaller at Slainte' the past few times. It isn't promoted very much so it seems to be running out of steam. It's too bad, because it's a fun room to do. Tonight there were 3 audience members, and about 9 comics.

I think my set went well. I used mostly new material, just to mix it up, but the jokes weren't fully flushed, but there is some stuff to work out. It's hard to tell how it went really, it was so quiet. Some of the guys basically went up and wrung out some new stuff, but it was an otherwise unproductive and awkward night. I don't feel bad though, I like the stuff I did and feel like it's a good lead in for other stuff.

The highlight of the evening came well after my set when I tried to leave. If anybody reading this is familiar with my posts, I talked about this drunk black woman that looked like a cross dressing Wesley Snipes that told me I needed to make sweet love to her. Well guess what? She showed up outside tonight. There were a few of us outside when she came so I felt a little safer that she wouldn't molest me, but boy was it a treat to talk to her. She was so drunk and she would go on these really long rants that were completely disjointed. The only theme that kept popping up is she'd go "Whoop there it is!" every now and then, but not really in a conversation break. It was a little like bad radio hip hop tourrettes. She said she was going to go wake her friend up and give her some uppers and have her come down and show us her titties. After she walked away to get her friend, I decided that was a good time to leave.

Next scheduled show is on September 14th at the Comedy Connection in Portland. I may hold off on the open mikes for awhile, I could use the break and refine my jokes I have right now. Big news though is I have a set coming up in Boston in November. It's November 6th at the Comedy Connection in Fanieul Hall and I'm supposed to convince at least 10 people to go see me. So if you're interested, that's the place to be that night, let me know.

I Can Really Set 12 People On Fire

That's what it felt like. I had a pretty fun set last night. Mostly I was working on delivery, working in and out of playing with the crowd and digging back into jokes. It was fun. I still have plenty of work to do to get better, but it was nice.

I ran a couple of my newer jokes that seemed to do well. I'm trying to run stuff that isn't too "dirty" and kind of rides the fence so that depending on the reaction of the crowd, I can push it one way or another. I also ran a joke that I had thought of before leaving the house, but hadn't really written out. It worked, but not as well as I hoped. Of course I can write it out and flush what I need from it, it should be good.

Tuck hosted last night, and he did a great job. He was in the zone where I don't think he could've done anything wrong. The crowd seemed a little confused at first, not really sure which direction the show would be going in. I think during my set, they seemed to relax, and took everything in after that. Some material I'd seen some of the comics do in the past which nose dove... dived... diven, worked well for them. The energy surely stayed in the room.

Tuck, Luke, and I all said at the end of the show that we thought it was a great show, even if there were less than 20 people in the room. It was cool to pull that off.

Now comes the sad part. No shows at the Connection until the 14th of September. I'll be working open mikes until then and after to make up the time. Not tonight at Acoustic though, I could use a break. It's been a long week and I need to rest my weary bones. This will give me an opportunity to write all new and exciting material. So watch for me next Thursday at Slainte, the week after in Acoustic (the 6th) and then back at the Connection and probably Slainte following on the 14th. Until then, feel free to go to my myspace page and watch videos of me and pretend the jokes are new and exciting.

There's no real hidden message behind the pictures today either. I just thought it was cute that my dog's hancercheif says "Little Firecracker" and it'll probably be awhile before I'm back in the pool again.

I Shoulda Doubled Down

I had a great set last night, don't get me wrong. I even had multiple applause breaks. It was great. But I wanted more. The room was sold out, completely packed. Every one of my jokes worked, but a few of them could've had more punch to them. But the crowd was a little more geared towards family friendly material it seemed. My material was more edgy, obviously, and if the crowd mentality was more raw I think I would've killed. It's a bit of a wake-up call for me to put together some material that is more accessible than just my biting stuff.

Bob Marley was great the whole night and definitely kept everyone entertained. Now that it's behind me, I can get back to crafting newer material and trying different things. My agent Tim told me to stay with my solid material and not try newer stuff for last night's show. I can see his point, but I also don't like to be told what type of material to do, but that's part of the game, and I'm just 1 cog in the whole machine.

I'm on a good streak of good to great shows right now, and enjoying being back in the game. My stage time is going to quiet down for a little while, the Connection has given only 1 or 2 showcase shows to comics throughout September. After next Tuesday, I'll have to wait until September 14th for my next show there, so I'll be filling in time at Slainte, and maybe even Acoustic.

I'll be back on top of writing, and am trying to get some time with Tuck. I think we'd be good for each other as far as perspective, so I hope we can find the time. It's creeping up on a year that I've been doing this, and I feel that recreating my angle might be in the works, or at least expanding what I use for material.

Like A New Born Baby

Good show last night. I liked the material I ran, and it was all new. I was going to do a couple new jokes, but Wednesday, Luke Hanberry gave me shit about having such a large notebook full of jokes and always running the same material. Truth be told, I run new material a lot, and I had even ran a joke that night that I hadn't even written out. Also most of the jokes from that set were less than a month old. But I'll admit it chapped my cheeks a little.

So I wrote all new jokes, except the brand new one from the night before. I'm sure he'll say something about me running a joke twice now. And running new material can be daunting. It's kind of like childbirth without the uteral wall tearing and stuff. Because you expose raw ideas, and the momentum of your entire set can change if the jokes don't go well. It was okay though, because because all of my jokes got laughs, and seemed to be working okay. In fact, one joke absolutely killed, and another one I think can be flushed into another great joke. Out of six new jokes, getting two I feel confident in running right away is a great feat. Like the analogy of childbirth, when that one joke killed, it felt like I delivered the baby, and the doctors said there was a 78% chance he'd be retarded, but then he comes out with a degree from DeVrey, hey it's not Harvard, but cut him some slack he's a newborn, and aside from a slightly lazy eye, it's a beautiful baby. Sorry for the runon sentence.

There was some good stuff going on at Slainte last night, and some not so good, but it's always a relaxed and supportive crowd. I love to work that room. It's too bad the crowds aren't as big as when it started, but you do get some regulars that are willing to tell you what they thought was working or not.

My next show is this Saturday night at 9:45 at the Comedy Connection. It's being billed as an All Star Showcase. It should be fun, and I hear the tickets are selling well. My show at Mr. Goodbar on the 28th was cancelled. Not that I like to lose shows, but I wasn't super jazzed to face that room again. As I understand, most everyone is having a hard time with it.

Have a nice day everyone, and than you to all my repeat visitors, it's nice to know people find my adventure somewhat interesting. Feel free to comment if you'd like.

And So It Begins...

Last night I had a really good set. It felt nice because it was a rough room at the Connection. I wasn't watching the show, just hung out with the comics and watched as other comics came out and pissed and moaned about what a terrible crowd it was. I couldn't have cared less last night.

I waited for my spot and just got up and ripped it. It was a decent mix of older stuff and newer stuff, with a brand new one thrown in that actually did fairly well. At the moment I was telling my chocolate penis joke, I noticed two large black men in front. That joke talks about men wanting a larger penis. I involved them in the joke, walking the line between racial stereotyping and funny, and it paid off. They laughed and it disolved any tension that might have been in the room during that moment. I tried a couple of techniques I learned from some books I've been reading and was surprised to see them work.

I'm pretty tired this morning, but I'll have to shake that. This week is going to be busy, and there's no time to be sluggish. Tonight, I'll be at Slainte'. I'll try and write some new jokes for there tonight, and then tomorrow morning I'm off to go see the Red Sox and Yanks at Fenway. I'm so excited I could just sh*t! Saturday night's the big show at the Comedy Connection, it's the All Star Show with a special guest I'm supposed to keep on the down low. $12 bucks will answer the mystery for you if you show up.

Walking Away From A Trainwreck Unscathed

I had a great set last night. All of my jokes worked great except for one which just kind of worked, and that was a brand new one. I'll be able to rework that one later on. And although I had a great set, it feels like it was by the skin of my teeth. For some others, last night was more like a bit of a train wreck.

I almost felt as if the crowd from Old Orchard Beach had become lost and came to my favorite comedy club. From jump, these people didn't want to have anything to do with the show and there were noisy drunk hecklers. Our host even had a hard time getting anything out of them. I was scheduled 8th out of 12 comics, and I sat and watched as normally talented and respected comics got chewed up and spit out onstage. It was grizzly to watch. And then the #7 comic happened which I'm fairly certain saved me.

The comic was Bill Picard, and he was a wheelchair bound comic. He used a keyboard to speak, just like Stephen Hawking. (On a side note, this is where I decided to scratch my joke that referred to Stephen Hawking for the night). His jokes were funny, but went over even harder I believe because he was handicapped. I have to say though, that it was inspiring. When he got up I was brought right up onstage. I did something at this point I felt guilty about later.I was so impressed by what Bill had done, instead of asking the crowd to give it up again for the host, I asked them to give it up to Bill. Then I played back and forth with Bill and referenced one of his jokes. I could tell Bill liked being called back into the next set, and I felt good making him feel good. But after my set I realized I was kind of stealing his thunder and projecting him onto myself by interracial with him. Maybe I'm reading too much into it, but it was an advantage I created over other comics for the night.Last night was a rough crowd, but I made it through with flying colors. Very few comics had a good night last night, but I was one of the more solid sets of the night. It felt good. I cannot tell a lie.

My next show is next Wednesday the 16th. I was also added to the All-Star Weekend and that's the 19th at 9:45. One other comic I know that's working that show is Dustin Beckleman, and it's always fun working with him. That one will be special for me, because it's a Saturday night show, and my first one at the Connection. I'm keeping my fingers crossed for great things.

Cheers... errrr...... umm...... Slainte'!

It was another fun time at Slainte' last night. It was my only set for the night, so I got to be there on time and "take the bullet". The show was supposed to start at 8:30, but didn't kick in until just after 9:00. There was a severe lack of people there that weren't comics. By the time I hit the stage though, it was about a third full. We'd get more folks throughout the show, but all in all a slower night for Slainte'.

I tried something different last night to see if it'd work. I played a game where I had everyone sitting close, like the comedy campfire. And knowing over half my set were new jokes I hadn't really written out, I looked to the other comics for help. I'd tell a joke and pass the mic to see how someone else might have changed it. To be honest, the additional feedback from other comics didn't really add much to the jokes, but it accomplished what I wanted. Basically I was taking a small crowd, making the situation more intimate and drawing them in as well as setting a mood. They were engaged in the performance, and there wasn't a single person chatting with other people or not paying attention. That's a pretty difficult feat in bar setting.

My new material went well. I had reworked the Jesus as Voltron bit, economizing the hell out of it. It ended up working. It went from the joke that drew crickets 2 nights ago, to a joke that got good laughs last night. I did a couple of things with it to make it work. First, I cut out unnecessary words and ran it as slim as possible. Then I used the fact that I was bored in a hotel room and decided to read the Bible. Seems like a subtle change, but I've noticed people shut down when you tell religious jokes pretty quickly, because they feel like you're going to preach. By making it an act of boredom instead of a preaching sermon, I think it made the joke more accessible. That's the kind of ridiculous shit I think about when writing jokes. It felt good though because I liked the idea of telling a joke about Jesus being a Japanese Robot comprised of Apostles, as opposed to a shitty carpenter.

I took off not too long after that, I was pretty tired. It was another great time in a great room though. I feel it vindicated my last trip there where I got befuddled by hecklers. Thundercats Ho! Next show is Tuesday August 8th at the Comedy Connection, which is also the birthday of my friend Mike who has the record website I linked to on the right over there.

It Was Busy But Fun

Last night I had rehearsal with the Running With Scissors gang st 6:30. I had just enough time to get home and take care of a few things before heading out. It went okay. I think I did better with them the last time I was there. There's another practice next week on Wed.

The Stand-up show at the Connection following was a good one. I went on fifth, and I was following a new girl comic. She seemed very nervous, but it was obvious that she had brought a lot of folks with her. It helped out the whole room if you ask me. She had some good ideas, but hadn't flushed them out, and the crowd was being real supportive. That helped me in a way because the were in the "give an inch take a mile" type of mode. And I took everything I could.

My set went really well. All of my jokes worked, except a new one I was writing beforehand. I don't remember how the conversation came up before the show, but a couple comics and I were talking about Jesus. I got it in my head to write a joke about Jesus not being a carpenter, but actually might have been a Japanese robot that forms like Voltron out of the Apostles. The whole flow of the joke wasn't right, and who knows, the premise might be ridiculous, but I'd like to give it another try. The idea strikes me as funny. Some people will tell you a bit isn't working, but if you rework it because you believe in it, it can really boost your ego when it finally does work. My Fantasy Baseball joke is a lot like that. A few folks told m not to use it, but I really like the concept, so I kept it and now it's one of my favorites to perform.

Another show tonight out at Slainte'. Timmy B posted that it starts at 8:30. I'll be there and I'm hoping to run a couple new bits, and might rework the Jesus Voltron one to see if it has any merit. And then I won't have another until next Tuesday, back at the Connection.

P.S. The picture above is of my dog's favorite toy. A stuffed squirrel named Earl Tha Squirrel. Not sure why I put it in there, but enjoy.

Making Faces!

I had my “audition” for the Dancing Face DVD project by Topper Carew last night. It was kind of a funny situation/story. Originally it was supposed to take place at the Comedy Connection a couple of weeks back, but I couldn’t make it. He seemed pretty jazzed to have me do it, and said if I gave him my email, he’d send me a message if they decided to do another audition. I got an email.

The email stated that the next time they were doing it was on August 1st at 7:00 at a place called Springsteen’s on Spring Street. I’d never heard of that location, but figured I knew where Spring Street was, so I’d be able to find it. I went to Holiday Inn By The Bay, as that was one of the landmarks referenced in the email and asked a very polite, smartly dressed gay gentleman at the front desk if he knew where this place was. He said that the only thing he could think of was a bar called Spring Street on Spring Street which was a gay bar. He asked me, with a little glint in his eye I might add, if I was looking for a gay bar. I assured him I wasn’t sure, but I was supposed to meet a guy who wanted to film me, but not in the way it sounded. I tried to explain that it involved filming my face, but no matter how I explained it, it sounded like I was going to take a load in my face at a gay bar. I said thanks for the help and excused myself, knowing there was no smooth way I could get out of that conversation without seeming gayer than most of the patrons of the gay bar.

I went to the bar, a little cautiously. I’d never been to a gay bar, seriously. It was the right place. Basically I met with the director and he had 3 cameras and 3 or 4 light towers. There were 2 cameramen, and nobody else had shown up to film yet. It was a pretty professional set-up. They started up some electronic dance type music and I began dancing with my face. I’ll be honest, I felt a little ridiculous. It was supposed to go for 1 minute, but I’m fairly certain it went longer than 1 minute. At least it felt like it went at least 3. They said I had some funny stuff and I could watch their website for further updates.

When I left, I could only think to myself that I hope I didn’t run into anyone that might think I was leaving my fiancé for the love of a man. And sure enough as soon as I opened the door, there was fellow comedian John Ater. I asked are you here to do the face dance thing? He said I’m here for penis. Just kidding, he was there for the same thing, but I didn’t stick around. I went home to think of manly things like hunting, fishing, and drinking beer with strippers. Female strippers.

Maybe Next Time

I had a really fun weekend, that ended up not having anything to do with comedy. My girlfriend and I went to Providence on Saturday and caught Water Fire, which is where the city had fires that they light up along the canals. They had gondolas and fire swinging people, all while they play music. It was interesting.

We went to Pawtucket the next day to see the Paw Sox and Keith Foulke was supposed to pitch, but I guess he tweaked something in his back or something. It was hotter than hell, and we left just as the 9th inning was getting underway.

I was supposed to perform with Running With Scissors last night at the Connection, but one more person said they couldn't make it, so they cancelled. I was pretty excited to do it, but there will be a next time. I'm on Wednesday night with Dennis Hunt from the group at the Connection, so we'll talk about it then.

Playing With Scissors

Yesterday I hung out with Tuck Tucker and Dennis Hunt of Running with scissors. They ran me through a few exercises for improv comedy, and I have to admit it was more fun than I thought it'd be. It's humor on a more organic level. It's a different way than I'm used to about approaching comedy, but I can see myself learning from it. It was also cool to work independantly with those guys, as they're a couple of the comics I've grown to look up to in the area.

I must have done okay, they asked me to do a show with them on Sunday. I told them I'd do my best to be there, but had to leave it open a little. I'm going to be in Providence and Pawtucket this weekend, and my return time will be cutting it pretty close. I explained it all in great detail so that they didn't think I was trying to be a jerk. They needed extra warm bodies due to Rachel being out of town. I won't go into detail about why, that's her business, but my heart goes out to her, I've been there myself.

I didn't do Acoustic last night, but I came pretty close to doing a set at the Connection. Karen Morgan showed up as we were finishing, and I half talked and half joked myself into a set because someone cancelled. I let Tuck take the set though. I'm still riding high from a good set a couple night ago, and the length of time it took me to have that good set, I didn't want to blow one so soon.

So next stand-up show for me is next Wednesday at the Connection, and my debut with Running With Scissors is this Sunday. Unless of course I get stuck in traffic or something crazy like that.

Stand-up Comedy Is A Lot Like Golf

It really is. You can have a run of nothing but terrible swings in golf, and want to give up. But you have 1 great shot and it keeps you coming back. Last night was a great swing.

The crowd was small last night. 24 to be exact, I counted while I was waiting for my set. I started my set with a quick quip asking them to perform cellular mitosis in order to double the size of the crowd. That kind of fell flat, I'm not sure if that reference was a little to esoteric to start the show with, but I'll call that a mulligan. From that point on I had them. All of my jokes were doing well, and a couple seemed to make folks laugh as if the room was full. It felt great to command the room again. I even ran a brand new joke that the setup didn't get the laughs I thought it would, but the payoff line got the room. I'm fairly certain it was the pentameter of how I set it up, and I can do that one better next time. It was a brand new joke that I hadn't worked through yet, but I definitely have something cool to work with.

Luke Hanberry, Kevin Neales, and Mark DeCosta were there last night, as well as about 6 or 7 other comics. I'd say I had either the top 1 or 2 best set of the night. When you have guys that turn the room out like those guys there, to come out near or at the top is a great feeling.

My next show is next Wednesday Aug. 2nd at the Connection. There's a slim possibility I may do Acoustic Coffee tonight (I know what I've said in the past, don't make me eat my words). I also have an audition tonight with the improvisational group Running With Scissors, and I'm waiting on a contact from a guy called Topper Carew about auditioning for a "face dancing" DVD thing. I'm not really sure what that one's about, but he seemed pretty jazzed to have me try out. He's the creator of the Martin show from back in the early 90's. Wuzzup?

Not on Top, But Back In The Game

I had a pretty fun set last night at the Connection. I had a much better set than I've been having, but I'm not back on the top of my game quite yet. It was a fairly quiet crowd, but I ran a lot of material, and only 1 joke didn't go over. It was an awkward joke that I'd run in the past and gotten laughs on, but it is a little confusing, so I may just ditch it. But the way I handled it saved the moment. Basically I told folks that there's be a burial service for that joke after the show if they'd like to stop by and say a few kind words. It just felt good to get back up there and do well again.

Slainte' went the other way. Although some of my stuff was really winning the room over, there were 3 guys that were piss drunk yelling through my set and trying to get involved. They kept yelling about Thundercats for some reason, and no matter how much I bit back, they didn't shut up. Same thing happened to Luke after me, which was too bad because the room was real lively and fun until those guys started up and the wheels fell off. I left after that and hope the room righted itself, it'd be a shame if that's the direction the room went in at this point as it's been a real fun room to work. So that set wasn't great, but the situation was more than my jokes or the room, it was out of control hecklers with an agenda. But I did feel really good about how 2 of my new jokes went over, so they'll be in the rotation for a little while. And then when I was done, one of the hecklers pulled me aside to say he liked my stuff. Of course I was wondering why he just didn't shut up to hear it, but really who cared.

I was just happy to get out there and not suck the life out of the rooms last night.

Oh Sweet OOB!

I'd really like to say this was the show where I turned it all around, and sadly I can't. But this time it wasn't my fault. My set, in my opinion, was actually pretty decent. But getting laughs out of that crowd last night was like doing brain surgery with a mallet. I only stayed for about half of the show, but the most laughter coming from the crowd even for the host was a low rumbling. If I'm asked to do that location again, I'll have to acquiesce to decline. Honest to God, a train ran through just before my set blowing it's whistle not more than 20 feet from the stage. The crowd wasn't into me, wasn't into George Hamm, wasn't into anything other than mild sedatives. But it didn't effect me so much last night.

One thing this string of bad shows is doing for me is toughening my skin. It's making me think more realistically about how I expect a crowd will react, and it's giving me determination to put out some newer fresher material and come out with more vigor. I had to kill 10 minutes last night, so I had to use most of my "proven" material. It felt stale to me, maybe it's been feeling stale to the audiences. I'm going to put together some fresh material and come with it later this week. I've switched up my style before, I'll do it again. I'll go with maybe more edgy but less blue material. This is a moment where I have choice. I'd like to quit, because let's face it, I'm not getting paid for this, but where's the honor in that? I need to go back out there and prove once again that I'm funny. I know I am, I've had people tell me so and have video to prove it. This may be a fool's errand to keep moving on, but who knows, exploring this other style coming up may be the best thing I can do. At this point I have nothing to lose. I feel like this is a cliffhanger and Batman and Robin are about to get eaten by the Penguins man eating robot birds, and we won't find out what happens until next week. But you'll only have to wait until Friday morning.

Well...... That sucked!

I got to say, my shows at the Connection are trending towards foolish at this point. I actually don't feel too bad about my set from last night, even though it was one of my worst sets there ever. I know where I went wrong.

I pretty much went into in a negative mindset after my last set and self destructed right off the bat. I think I might be thrown because I've been keeping time and rushing after I got the previous drop in time. I've gone from 7-8 minutes, to 5, to 10, and back down to 6 last night. To start the show off I forgot to start my watch, and literally without thinking raised my watch above he mic and hit the timer which let out a loud "beep". I lost the crowd right there, and didn't even start to get them until halfway through my next joke. I did get them with some of my jokes, but a lot of my set was forced and I had to work way too hard at that point. I was stammering and hurrying. That's not really like me. I've decided that not only will I come with new material for the next show, I'm not going to time myself. I know it's wrong because I should be vigilant, but they're being inconsistent with the time they give me anyhow, so what do I care anyway?

I'm actually kind of glad I got that one out of the way. It's over, now I've sucked the life out of that room finally, and can go nowhere but up. Like I said, it won't always be pretty, it just hurts to do poorly in your favorite room. I'll be back to the Connection next Thursday, and I'm very excited to work that show because Kevin Knox will be the host. He's a great guy. In the meantime, I have a show Monday at Mr. Goodbar in Old Orchard Beach where I'm supposed to do 10 minutes, and I might try Sierra in Gorham on Wednesday. If all goes well though, I'll squeeze in Slainte' after my Connection show Thursday next week. I've got enough chances to get back on track, let's see if I can right this ship.