Friday, March 30, 2007

The Retirement Is Off For Now

A recent bulletin on myspace from myself explains it mostly:

Recently as some of you may be aware, I retired from stand-up comedy. Although during my retirement I continued to do shows, I was commited to the relationship with my retirement. That being said, I have some sad news.

Retirement and I have broken up. That's right, and it wasn't quite amicable either. Sure I get to go out and do shows, but in the settlement, retirement got half of my prison rape and roofie jokes. I do get visitation rights with the awkward thumb up my ass jokes on the weekends. If you love me at all, you won't bring this up.

I'm sure a lot of you are gloating right now thinking that you knew all along that it wouldn't work out, but sometimes a dude has to make his own mistakes. But I understand if you want to gloat about it and say "I told you so", so I'm letting you know right now that you can do just that.

So in order to say I told you so, swing by the Portland Comedy Connection on April 22nd, 26th, May 2nd (Portland's Funniest Professional Semi's), and May 13th when I'll be hosting, to tell me to my face that you told me so. It's just $6 most nights to rub it in my face.

Have a lovely day,
Rob

P.S. I thought of faxing that I was back like Michael Jordan, but figured the underwhelming response that would get would make it pretty anti-climactic. Plus most of you don't have fax machines.

Friday, March 16, 2007

I Need Help

And no, I don't mean mental help, although I'm sure that would be appropriate. I basically need help trying to raise funds for the American Cancer Society. I know what you're thinking, Rob this blog is about comedy and foolishness. Be that as it may, if you've read my blog for any length of time, you know that the catalyst for my starting stand-up was based on my own mother's fight with cancer. She may not have made it through, but others can, with help.

Basically I've volunteered for the Relay For Life with my extended family in Rhode Island. I need to raise money through sponsorships, and could really use your help. I have friends that come through this site every now and then and see what I'm up to, and this is important. If you want to donate, that's great, the link will follow. If you know of someone that has been effected by cancer, you know how it can really put a hurt on those people and the families and friends that love them. If you don't want to donate, that's fine, but at least take a minute to either think of someone that might have gone through something like this, or think of how you'd feel if someone close to you had to go through something like this. I'm not trying to guilt anyone into donating, but I don't want you to take my request lightly. Please just give it some thought.

If you chose to donate, you can do so through this link:
http://www.acsevents.org/faf/donorReg/donorPledge.asp?ievent=206337&supId=167937936

Sorry to get heavy there, but make sure to swing through sometime soon for comedy updates. As you know I'm in the semi finals for Portland's Funniest Professional at the Portland Comedy Connection on May 2nd. Also I'm waiting to see about a couple of paying gigs I may be doing in April. If I do confirm those dates I'll certainly post to keep folks informed.

Wednesday, March 14, 2007

The Retirement Is In A Circle Pattern

I just got back from round 1 or Portland's Funniest Professional, which many people said they couldn't make it to, and they'd catch me in the second round. Well, the bad news is, I didn't make the second round. The good news is, I shot right to the semi-finals. My next show will be on May 2nd, so if you're one of those people, you have plenty of time to plan if you really want to go.

The reason I shot right to the semi-finals, was because I came in first place tonight. Apparently I did good enough to win the heart of the judges tonight. The first place winners get a pass from round 2, and go right to the semi's. I have to be honest, I wasn't really stoked on my set. I thought it was fine, but definitely not my best. I thought other folks did a better job, but I am usually my own worst critic. I am pretty excited about the next round for me, I'll be going up against Tom Ryan. For those faithful readers of my blog, he was the assistant instructor when I was going through the class. He also helped me pop my first cherry outside of the class by doing that horrible show up in Lewiston at Confetti's. It'll be nice to do a show with him again, it's been awhile.

I thought the other comics did a great job tonight too. There were some folks I'd worked with up in Bangor before, Adam Hatch, Ryan Waning, and Sampson who seemed like they were well received my the Connection crowd. There was also the second place guy named Kevin who did a great job, I just didn't catch his last name. Also Paul Hunt came in third, but only gets to advance if myself or Kevin can't continue for some reason.

When they announced my name as the winner tonight, I stood up to to take a bow. The applause was so loud, and it felt so good. Tomorrow's my birthday, but today I got a gift. It's not something that you can package or sell, I felt good inside. For myself, with crippling low self esteem, it's hard to feel like that. All the while that I do stand up, I think about my mom and why I decided to do stand up. The applause was something I never thought I'd get. I knew I was funny and people would laugh and clap, but I never thought I'd get the applause that the last couple have shows have given me. If you were there for either of the last 2 shows and you were cheering, I just want to say thank you. It means a lot to me, more than you'll probably ever know.

That being said, there's a possibility of a couple more shows coming up next month. Timmy B was talking about a couple of paying gigs next month in the Portland area that he might put me on. I'd be crazy to pass up money for a 5 minute commute. So as I said, looks like the retirement is slightly delayed. But the May 2nd semi-finals is a go. Mark your calendars bitches.