A recent bulletin on myspace from myself explains it mostly:
Recently as some of you may be aware, I retired from stand-up comedy. Although during my retirement I continued to do shows, I was commited to the relationship with my retirement. That being said, I have some sad news.
Retirement and I have broken up. That's right, and it wasn't quite amicable either. Sure I get to go out and do shows, but in the settlement, retirement got half of my prison rape and roofie jokes. I do get visitation rights with the awkward thumb up my ass jokes on the weekends. If you love me at all, you won't bring this up.
I'm sure a lot of you are gloating right now thinking that you knew all along that it wouldn't work out, but sometimes a dude has to make his own mistakes. But I understand if you want to gloat about it and say "I told you so", so I'm letting you know right now that you can do just that.
So in order to say I told you so, swing by the Portland Comedy Connection on April 22nd, 26th, May 2nd (Portland's Funniest Professional Semi's), and May 13th when I'll be hosting, to tell me to my face that you told me so. It's just $6 most nights to rub it in my face.
Have a lovely day,
Rob
P.S. I thought of faxing that I was back like Michael Jordan, but figured the underwhelming response that would get would make it pretty anti-climactic. Plus most of you don't have fax machines.
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1 comment:
"It's just $6 most nights to rub it in my face."
That is a bargin. Usually you charge me $50 to rub it in your face.
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